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(An eccentric post – please bear with me)
Our limbs follow what we want them to do. The mind controls and the body follow. Our desires, our wants, even our wishes and thoughts, almost everything is controlled by our brain or our mind, whatever we are comfortable calling it.
But is it really true? Am I in my mind, or is it only a part of my existence, an organ which loses its relevance once I am declared dead?
The seat of power, of command-and-control, rests with the brain.
We still have an inherent dissonance with our body. It’s my body, but it’s not ‘me’. If someone were to ask, who am ‘I’, I will give my name, something given to me by someone else, or talk about my parents or family, again not ‘me’.
An accomplished person may even talk about his or her achievements. But what is that person – A total of all his accomplishments, of whatever was conferred upon him by his family or society, like his name, lineage, the place he belongs to, the work he is doing.
But then where is ‘the individual’.
The definition of ‘me’ remains incomplete without external characteristics, without an acknowledgement from someone else. An individual’s presence is not enough to define his place in the universe; it still requires some kind relevance to prove the person exists. So, Einstein probably deserves credit for relative existence as well.
I exist in relation to my family, the place, my talent, or even my media platform presence.
The existence is incomplete without context. Lack of context makes an individual, invisible both – literally as well as figuratively.
Suppose I was born in this world, and discovered telepathy, immortality, perpetual youth, and disappear, with no one knowing who found it all. How will my presence be defined by me, then?
I will be anonymous in the world’s eyes. Still, in my own vision, I will probably carry a different image of myself. If I have to tell someone who am I, I will use that thought as a background to feel proud of myself, even if I don’t disclose my remarkable feats.
But why do I have to tell someone about ‘me’? I don’t know, and now I think, this too needs further exploration.
I can retire in the icy caves of the Himalayas and meditate my entire life.
Let’s assume no one gets to know about it, and I achieve Nirvana and the ultimate spiritual goal. Will that give me an absolute existence, or will ‘my acts’ still continue to define me?
I will still be defined as someone who used his body and mind to go for an extreme goal of enlightenment.
I might become an enlightened soul, but will yet have a narrow definition of ‘myself’. Someone, who longed for something and got it, that’s what I will be then probably.
But what about going beyond that?
Not caring for any definition.
What about achieving nothing?
What about remaining goalless?
What about getting rid of the self and ultra self (self–mind, ultra-self-the one which controls mind)
Is it possible?
I hate both self and ultra-self, and I don’t even know who this ‘I’ is?
‘Who’ is pushing me to write all this?
Why am ‘I’ even writing all this?
Am I the one with a free will or is it just a misnomer which cannot exist in isolation?
The definition(s) could be too wide or even too narrow, but we human beings are trapped in these definitions, and we probably even love this enslavement.
Or are we being forced inside this trap?
Try to sit idle for a minute.
Who speaks to you at that time? Is it ‘your’ voice? If you could see the blankness, or a light or roseate sky, or you simply ride into the unknown; who is taking you there, who is creating that alternate world, how and why?
‘I’ have no answer but right now ‘I’ don’t even know which ‘I’ is asking me all this?
Have you ever experienced an infant staring at you?
I wonder if he ‘knows’ everything, and laughing at ‘your’ ignorance.
I also wonder, if someone living inside, say, a black hole (if there is someone really living there, not limited by our inadequate knowledge) or in a different universe will also have a similar question, like ‘we’ people have on this small and insignificant planet.
‘I’ need answers.